


Break My World

by Urby



Series: Return to Innocence [7]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Intrusive Thoughts, Invisible Kingdom | Revelation Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 06:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12953256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urby/pseuds/Urby
Summary: The more they fight, the more convinced Azura is that she will not live past the end of the war. The more they discover, the more convinced she is that she will not be needed past the end of the war.





	Break My World

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place after _Stay The Night_.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta - without them, this fic would have been very different.
> 
> I still think the cousin thing is a terrible storytelling error (and Mikoto was probably adopted) but it is what it is.

Corrin became...clingy, after that night - affectionate to the point of distraction. He wanted to be near Azura, or at least know where she was, at all times. Even if it was common knowledge around camp that that day she was caring for the fields or the shop.

Or, perhaps, singing by herself. There was a little lake, far enough away to make oneself lonely, if they wished to be.

"There you are!"

Azura stopped mid-note, turning quickly enough to cause a flurry of ripples. Corrin joined her, wading so they were both knee-deep in water.

"Do you need anything, Corrin?" she asked. "You look winded."

A small smile flickered across his face. "No, I'm just glad to have found you!"

It would have been easy to smile back, to partake in shared happiness. Azura stood calmly, allowing herself to paw at the silt with her toes to vent her desire for movement.

She should have known. It happened every time - when two members of the army got intimate with each other once, they would get obsessed with being together. Not even their illustrious leader was immune to this. Not even _she_ was immune to this. It was natural to seek out pleasures and highs, especially if they were mutual.

It was a little flattering, but heaviness clouded Azura's thoughts.

She had made a mistake.

They had gotten intimate with each other at her insistence. Why did she ever think that they would want to stop after just one night? Even now, when she was chastising herself for her foolishness, the ache between her legs guided her mind towards lewd memories. They didn't have time for this. She needed to put some distance between them. The sooner she pushed him away, the sooner he would be able to move on when she eventually, inevitably...had to leave him for good. Once the world no longer needed her song.

If her mind was already in such a dark place, it was easy to dwell on the fact that her death would mean that Valla's royal family line would die with her. Not like Valla was in a state to need a royal family. Besides, the fate of the whole world was more important than Valla, and Valla was more than its royal family, anyway.

Her heartache was a gaping hole in her chest.

* * *

Azura was not able to avoid Corrin forever. He ran into her on the Astral Plane, beaming widely.

"Azura! I finally found you!" he said, striding towards her. She turned towards him and gave him a light smile, knowing it would be too rude to simply walk away from him. He had a look around, checking to see if they were alone, before stepping into her space and wrapping his arms around her. He was warm and his smile was soft.

"I'm sorry," she said, closing her eyes. "I've been keeping busy."

"We have some time before dinner...would you like to go for a walk somewhere? Or...we could head to the treehouse," he said. His voice was even, but his excitement was clear.

Azura laid her hands on his chest.

"It's been so long since we've had a moment to ourselves," Corrin murmured, leaning into her so he could rest his face against hers. She stiffened, which made it easier to lean into him. It took him a moment to realize she was pushing him away, and when he did, his arms went slack, allowing her to step away.

She looked up into his eyes. They were wide and full of unspoken confusion and hurt, a hurt echoed in her own heart.

"Please," she began, her voice soft. "We shouldn't."

Pain etched through his expression. "No?"

"We can't afford to be distracted," she said. As much as she loved his warmth, wanted to soothe his pain...she drew her hands back. "Not now. Not while there's so much at stake."

His lips parted, showing a tongue caught between sharpening teeth. It took him a long while to work up words. "Being with you isn't a distraction," he said, taking a hold of her hands with a grip so frail she could shiver her way out of it. "I feel stronger when I'm with you! You give me strength!"

It sounded so much like one of her own confessions - _you steady me_ \- that she wanted to throw her arms around him and pour all of her love into him. She clenched her eyes shut, willing the affection that threatened to overflow slow down into a painful, modest trickle.

"We are fighting a war, Corrin," she said. "Our success is more important than our feelings. I want to be able to concentrate."

His eyes shone, but only for a moment. When he blinked, no traces of unshed tears remained - just a neutral expression. "...I understand," he said, and his voice was hollow.

"When the war is over..." she said, allowing herself a moment of fantasy, "we'll have time for this."

Corrin was silent for a moment. Then he said, "I see." He seemed relieved, just a little. "We'll have time," he said, with more conviction.

Azura nodded. She studied him for a moment, then turned around to walk away. He did not stop her.

* * *

Mikoto's form was fading.

"Arete, the former queen of Valla, is my older sister. Because of the curse, I wasn't able to say anything about her before now..."

She did not last much longer after that. Corrin brought his people to the Astral Plane, where they could borrow time and space to mourn. A gloom settled over the army - not just the people, but the very air around them seemed heavy. Fighting their way through Valla was taking its toll on everyone.

Corrin did his best to come off as unshaken, visiting others and giving them busy work to distract them. Azura could tell that he was attempting to distract himself, as well: claws had grown under his gloves, and he walked on dark, elongated toes.

Ryoma put a hand on Corrin's shoulder. Corrin flinched enough that Azura did the same, even if she was standing further away.

"Brother," Ryoma said, taking long breaths. "Do you think you can speak your worries?"

For a moment, Corrin's gaze was even. Then, he tucked his head, bunching his shoulders close to his face.

Azura couldn't shake the feeling that she was eavesdropping on something tender and precious and so very not hers. She slipped out, making her way away from the castle. No one stopped her, not while she walked with an air of calm and intent.

No one questioned her act.

Once she was out of sight, she fled, trying to outpace the dread weighing on her and seeking out water.

* * *

"Come with me," Ryoma said, beckoning Corrin closer with an incline of his head. "If you don't mind being on your feet a while longer, would you mind walking under the trees?"

"That's..." Corrin straightened. Then, with a long breath, he nodded. "That's alright. It would do me some good."

Peach trees grew in paths in the Astral Plane, flanking those wandering through with bright and lively green. It was along these paths that Ryoma took Corrin, arms crossed over his chest meditatively. Corrin wondered if he should emulate the pose, but he didn't feel confident in being able to clear his mind of...whatever it was filled with. Noise, like the ringing of overworked ears. Raw, tar-like tension. He stared at the path ahead of them as they walked. The path needed some minding, if the small tufts of dust he kicked up with each of his steps was any indication. No one wanted to take leisure jobs with the war weighing so heavily, though...

"I greatly admire how you are handling things," Ryoma said.

This made Corrin look up, blinking rapidly. "Thank you!" he said, breathless with genuine surprise. He broke into a grin wide enough that he couldn't feel his own teeth on his lips. "That means so much, coming from you."

Ryoma nodded. "Your ability and dedication is commendable. Even though the enemy is targeting you by attacking your cherished memories...you are still able to lead."

"That's because..." Corrin's grin melted as his gaze drifted back towards the horizon. "Because I need to keep everyone safe. It's the least I could do, after dragging you all here with me. For trusting me."

"We trust and love you, Corrin."

Corrin let his breath out in a long sweep, allowing those words and the sentiment behind them to soak into his body. He took in a breath, deep with the scent of growing trees, and faced Ryoma with a small smile. "I appreciate that. Truly. That others love me as I do them."

Ryoma offered a sagely nod and allowed the conversation to drift away on the wind. Corrin sighed and lowered his head. It was easy to walk alongside Ryoma without paying too much attention to anything other than his own thoughts. Ryoma set a modest pace, as if they were simply trying to enjoy the leaves in the trees. They were dense enough to dapple the light overhead, but the day was still warm.

"I want to spend tonight remembering Mikoto with my entire family," Ryoma offered. He stopped in front of a tree in bloom, allowing Corrin the time to stand by him. This peach tree was a late bloomer, but the sheer amount of blossoms foretold a good harvest, if things went well. "That includes you."

Corrin considered the tree and its blossoms. He remembered trees in bloom shedding petals in his brief stay in Hoshido...how a gust of wind could be observed end-to-end because of the petals that were swept up by it. The ones in the Astral Plane were hardier, but still beautiful.

He knew he was being comforted, but he couldn't find the decency within himself to feel grateful. Not when the noise and worry was so thick inside of his skull. "I would rather not think about family right now," he said.

The wind stirred the branches above, which made a sound like ocean waves.

"I'm...worried. About something that isn't fighting," Corrin managed, eyes focused on the pattern of bark ahead of him.

"Hm?" It was surprising how much calm concern Ryoma could express with that short noise.

"Azura seems...distant lately," Corrin said.

The wind stirred through the trees again. "I've noticed that as well," Ryoma said once the breeze petered out. "We should keep an eye on her. Come to think of it, where is she?"

Corrin could feel the dragon creeping out of him. He took a long breath, deeper than he thought possible. "I wanted to talk to her one-on-one after I'd taken care of everyone..."

"I saw her heading out before we did," Ryoma's words were slow as he worked through his thoughts. "But we haven't seen her yet. Do you think --"

Corrin bolted, his tail streaming behind him as he ran. Ryoma followed closely behind, trying to lend a hand when he saw Corrin stumble. The stumble was no accident, though - Corrin tore ahead on all fours, shredding the soil with his claws as he went.

Ryoma wasted no time calling after him. He had a good idea where Corrin was headed, and followed as best he could.

* * *

The lonely lake was a pristine, quiet place. Azura always made sure to disturb it as little as possible, because the lake was greater and older than she - possibly more powerful, because of all the life that lived there. Whenever she went there to sing, she always found murmuring waterbirds and fish nibbling at the algae scattered around the surface. She tried to disturb it as little as possible every time she visited, because she knew she was a guest.

Today, however, she had no room in her being for such thoughtfulness. She landed into the lake in a heap, skidding her knees against the silt, hair scattering against the water's surface. The chill of the lake was a shock.

With both Arete and Mikoto gone for good, Azura felt a rift in the shape of a mother's love carve itself into her heart. Mikoto's words rattled around her head.

_Mikoto...is my aunt. Which makes Corrin..._

More reasons not to love him. More reasons for distance. More reasons for isolation. For depriving herself. For hurt. It hurt.

After Azura's initial horror had subsided, a new thought emerged: now, Valla would be survived by someone of the royal family, even if she died. It was a thought that turned to ice in her chest as soon as it occurred to her that now she had no reason to try to stay alive other than sentimental ones.

_Good_ , was a word that surfaced in her mind. It was bitter and jarring. She repeated it, again and again, to get herself used to the taste of it. She stared at her half-submerged hands and how they blended into the water.

_I'll be gone._

"Azura?"

_Good. I'll be gone. Good. I'll be gone. Good, good, good._ The words were a steady beat in her head. If she could just get up out of the lake, she could act on those thoughts. It would be simple. Water gnawed at her fingers.

"...Azura! Look out!"

She flinched as a spray of water clapped across her body. There was a lot of splashing...getting louder, and coming towards her. Wild ripples sliced apart the image of her hands under the water. For a moment, her mind was silent.

When she looked up from her hands, there was a more-than-half-dragon Corrin sitting in front of her a few steps away. His eyes were wide and wild.

More noise - not quite splashes, but movement through water - made her look away from his gaze. Ryoma stood a respectable distance from both of them, not willing to intrude on the moment just yet.

Azura blinked.

"What are you doing here?" she asked the air around them.

"We're worried about you," Ryoma said.

"I'm fine," she said automatically, and that kicked off another chorus of bitter thoughts. She reached up to put her hands over her ears, to try to stop the rattling between them. Her fingers stung once she pulled them out of the water -- and then the stinging became _pain_ , deep and raw and blue, blue, blue --

Corrin whimpered, inching forward on all fours. Ryoma splashed towards them, dropping to a kneel. "Azura, what happened? Tell us what's wrong," he said.

_Gone._

The word resounded in her mind, too loud for her to think about answering. She tried to put together a response, a thought, anything, but the only thing between her ears was the sensation and a twisted lust for _being gone_. Of already being gone, in a sense.

"Help," she whispered.

"Help?" Corrin asked in a quiet, watery voice, sharp teeth showing through parted lips.

She knew she needed help, but she couldn't stop the dread. Not now. Not even after realizing she actually wanted to. "Bring me back."

In the next moment she found herself in Corrin's arms, held to his chest by long, draconic hands. She tucked her face into his neck, trying to hold back the pain eating at her skin and at her thoughts.

* * *

The next few hours were blurry and rushed. Healers swarmed around her, dabbing away at the crystallization crawling up her hands. Azura felt small in her own skin - the pain was almost too big for her to comprehend, especially when others touched it. But, she allowed it, absorbing as much help as she could. Eventually, the blue fire smoldered and died, leaving her hands flesh and blood again.

She tried to go back to her room after that, saying that she had inconvenienced everyone more than enough, but Sakura and Ryoma were not done fussing over her. They insisted in a gentle-yet-firm way that she knew could not be refused -- that they bring her a meal, that she change into something comfortable, and that she had rest and time to herself. Which was what she wanted, really, but the path to that was filled with having others hovering over her and making sure she was well, long after she was doing better.

Being grateful was difficult. But, Azura managed to thank those taking care of her, and that was enough to keep them from asking questions. She faced her room, breathing deeply now that she was alone. Someone had changed her sheets, which was a bit annoying - the last ones were clean, and she didn't want someone having to do more laundry than they needed to. The new sheets were ones saved for hurting members of the army, made of soft cotton. She sighed, sitting heavily on the bed. Whoever had gotten them for her wanted to spoil her with kindness, it seemed. She touched her fingers together, memorizing the sensation.

She could not _entertain_ the thought of dying, as unfitting as that word was. The horror of it took too much of her time, too much of her mind. Her mind needed to be clear. She had a role to play. She would not be able to do it if she went and offed herself beforehand because she had convinced herself it was a good idea.

There was still work to do. There was still work to do. She closed her eyes and hummed under her breath, streaming that thought across her mind until she could think nothing else.

When she opened her eyes, it was to a quiet room, a little darker than she had expected. Her dinner had gone tepid. Now she wanted to eat it even less. She stared at it as if it would read her mood and walk out. Instead, there was a knock at the door. She sighed and moved the plate somewhere inconspicuous before going to answer it. Probably Sakura or Ryoma, coming in to see if she was alright.

It was neither. Instead, it was Corrin, wearing a set of flannel nightclothes that looked more comfortable than they were warm.

Azura's fingers slid off the doorknob, boneless. "Good evening," she said.

"Is it?" Corrin asked with a helpless smile. "I'm glad to hear you think so."

She sighed quietly, feeling the air pass through her body. He didn't meet her eyes for a minute.

"I can't sleep," he admitted. "Can I come in?"

"Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?"

"Yes, I'd like that --" he said, breaking into a grin. Then, he shook his head and cleared his throat. "...Azura. I haven't had a chance to talk to you today."

It occurred to her that he had come to see her at her room, and that she had the opportunity to send him away.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Today," he said, his expression cooling. She swallowed hard. "So many things happened today."

"...Yes."

"Is it alright if I came in?" he asked again. "Or do you think you'd be more comfortable elsewhere?"

"I don't want to go anywhere," she said, stepping aside to allow him entry. He thanked her with a smile and glided past her. When she didn't follow, he made a soft noise and reached for her hands.

A chill ran through her body, and his eyes widened at her shiver. "Come here," he said, guiding her to the bed. Heat gathered in her cheeks as he did so - but he didn't seem to care about the implications, instead hunting for a blanket. She sat on the bed numbly and waited for him put the blanket around her. Instead, he sat next to her wrapped it around both of them.

Her eyes went wide and her breathing stilled. Her mind rattled with tightly-wound, sharp words.

_Cousins. Stop. No. Mustn't. Break away, get out. Leave. Leave._

The last word was an ugly sensation in her thoughts, echoing until she could barely hear anything else. She tried to push it away, but once she got that out, words like _good_ and _gone_ filled the space it left behind.

Azura clung to the sides of her head, clenching her eyes shut. She didn't want to think these sorts of thoughts! She'd just decided that she shouldn't think those thoughts! She didn't want to follow through with them!

She didn't want to die, and when that occurred to her, she couldn't stop the tears.

A half-swallowed gasp escaped Corrin. "Azura..." his voice was soft, like he was afraid sound would break her. She couldn't tell him that wasn't necessary - instead, she hugged herself, holding onto her forearms. His hands hovered in the air around her. "I'm...I'm sorry, please..."

He shuffled the blanket around her shoulders, bunching it so that it wouldn't fall off. He was about to tuck it around her neck, but his hands were transforming, quickly getting too sharp for him to dare handling fabric. "Oh..."

Corrin sat, ears long and dark, watching her cry. He was so clearly at a loss for what to do that it was almost comical. Sharp almost-laughs clipped out of Azura's mouth when she tried to breathe. Eventually, her sobs evened out, leaving her exhausted and sniffly.

"I wish I didn't _feel_ so much," she said, the words dripping venom into her throat. "It would be easier that way."

The motion of his ears drifted downwards. He regarded her evenly.

"I wish I felt _more_ ," he said softly.

She didn't ask him to clarify. Instead, she leaned on him, waiting for him to continue.

"When Mother...my mother, when she died in Shirasagi, I felt something. You remember, don't you? I hadn't ever felt anything like that before."

Azura nodded against his neck.

"It feels like so long since then. I've seen so much. Fought so much. Even when I saw her again, and when she died again...I don't know if I felt enough. I didn't...I don't; I don't want to cry, I don't want to yell, or turn into a dragon, anything...it's tiring."

"Yes..."

Corrin held her closer, rubbing his cheek against her hair. Azura closed her eyes, wondering if the warmth in her chest was discomfort.

"Not being able to feel can be a blessing. You won't hesitate as much," she said.

"If I'm not able to feel, then what separates me from just...a common monster?" Corrin pulled away, frowning. He spread his wings.

Azura was almost too shocked to speak for a moment. She grabbed his hands. "No! You are not a monster!"

The force of her words stunned him to quiet.

Words tumbled out of her mouth before she could think, before she could weigh them out of sight of her heart. "You are a human being! You're allowed to be numb and hurt. You're allowed to fall short. To be imperfect. Even when there's tragedy or crisis when people are counting on you. Or when a friend is hurting and you don't know what to say to help them."

Corrin blinked several times, his expression falling. She felt his hands grasp hers back.

"I guess I'm human, then," he said. "Because...I don't know what to say to make you feel better."

Azura hoped he couldn't tell how much that simple statement subdued her. She wasn't talking about him, it was just her own bitterness that got away from her...

"You're one of the ones hurting the most out of all of us, but you're also the one doing the most sometimes, and...I want to help you, but I don't know what I can do. I keep trying to think about what I can do or say, but my thoughts keep wandering towards other things. Things that are -- ah, h-happier..." He looked away, suddenly bashful.

"Corrin..."

The cute, bashful expression curled into a frown, and he clenched his eyes shut. "I'm a...I'm a terrible son; I don't want to mourn my mother, and I'm a terrible cousin because I still want you, there must be something wrong with me, I..."

The breath froze in her throat.

Corrin's hands grasped at the sheets as he spoke. "I want you to feel better, but all I can think of to cheer you up are... _distractions_ ," he forced the last word through gritted teeth. "And I know that they're not something you want -- but I can't stop, even knowing that..."

Azura laid a gentle finger on his lips. He blinked his eyes open in surprise.

"That's enough," she whispered.

"I'm sorry. I made this about me," he said. "Thank you, Azura."

She drew her finger back, pondering silently. Then, she leaned in to press a kiss to his neck. His breath hitched when she touched him - and so did hers, because she hadn't quite recovered from the crying she'd done. She lingered by his face, allowing him to stroke the back of her head. It was soothing, in a painful way.

"If you are a terrible son...then I am a terrible daughter, because I don't want to mourn my mother either. Maybe someday, I will," she said.

"Maybe someday," he repeated softly, as if to himself.

She laid her hand against his. Her mind swarmed with thoughts battling each other - some shouting against this sort of intimacy, some encouraging her to do more. Her throat was dry, even when she swallowed.

"And..." her throat seized with a jolt of pain. Perhaps it was better that she didn't continue, but...her heart would break either way. "You're not the only terrible cousin."

Corrin's eyes widened. The weight of that confession gripped her chest, and she covered her face, unable to stop a fresh wave of tears. There were no sobs this time, but she felt smaller and more wretched than ever.

She heard shifting on the bed, and then felt the embrace of the half-dragon she loved, despite...everything, it felt at this point. So many things. His arms crossed against her back and his wings cupped her shoulders.

He was warm.

"I love you," he said, his words soft but as strong as a vow. "I feel like I've...always known you, loved you, even before we met. You were familiar to me since the day I saw you. Ah, not --! Not as in family, but as..."

A pause. A kiss, hesitant but heartfelt, against her temple.

"...As my other half."

Azura smiled into her hands, despite the hurting in her being. Corrin did not need completing - he was not missing a half, not broken. She was not confident in saying the same for herself, but that didn't matter. Save for that detail, her sentiments mirrored his own.

"I will always love you," she said, tears streaking salt into her lips. "No matter what happens."

Careful hands brushed her own away from her face so that he could lean in. She flinched at the sensation of something warm wiping away her tears, drawing up to the corners of her eyes.

"Corrin...?"

He pulled away, a blush streaking across his nose. "I'm -- I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry," he said, brushing away the tears from the other side of her face with the back of his finger.

"It's fine. It was just a bit sudden," she said. "Could you hold me?"

He looked at her for a few seconds, as if wondering if he had heard her correctly. "Of course," he said, embracing her again. His cheeks were hot against hers, and feeling his smile against her skin calmed her.

"Could you tell me about Arete?" Corrin asked, rocking Azura gently. "I wish I had the opportunity to know her as your mother."

"No," was Azura's first response. His face fell, but he nodded in understanding. She felt her nails against her palm.

_I can afford a little lie._

"Not yet."

"That's alright," he said. "It will hurt less some other time."

She closed her eyes and focused on the flannel of his shirt. There was not enough time to heal before she would have to...leave. She had likely doomed her mother to be forgotten - or, worse, remembered as someone who had been twisted.

"Would you like me to tell you about Mikoto?" Azura asked, mostly to distract herself from those thoughts.

"Not now."

That was not as much of a loss. Corrin would be able to talk to others about Mikoto. Ryoma would likely have many fond stories to share. Stories that would soothe him.

Corrin rocked back and forth again, sighing into her hair. Azura looked up at him, a question in her gaze.

"Did you know we were cousins?" he asked. After he said that, he shook his head. "No, you couldn't have. But...maybe an idea? Anything?"

She shook her head, gulping down nausea that threatened to well up. "Mikoto wasn't ever able to talk to me about Valla...and I would have never guessed she was my mother's sister." Azura made another attempt at swallowing. "She was very kind to me...but I always thought she treated me like one of her children, not as a niece."

Corrin sighed again, the rush of air strong enough to scatter some hair into her eyes. She blinked the strands away, not wanting to move any more in case he would take it as a signal to release her.

Slowly, as if fearing that she might object, his tail curled around her, resting against her folded legs.

"I know that you're alive, and with luck, you won't go anywhere," he said. After a moment, he shook his head, closing his eyes. "No. I'm not going to let you die. We'll get out of this together."

He didn't follow that up with anything for a while, which made her think he was finished with what he had to say. She let her eyes close, considering the bittersweet hurt swirling in her chest. A hand at her cheek kept her from getting too deep into her own thoughts.

"But I still...I still feel like I lost something, tonight," he said. He took in a sharp breath. "I've lost so much. I don't want to lose you, too..."

Azura could feel the pain in his voice, could feel it in how weak his hand rested against her face. Would it be a mercy to tell him he would lose her again...? Lose her in a way that was more than just distance?

She could see - and almost hear - how hard he swallowed. His fingers felt slightly cool with dragonic leather when he grasped her hand. "Azura. Either we are or we aren't family. It...can be the end of us being intimate. Whatever you decide, I don't...I don't care," he said, voice raw and eyes filled with sorrow. "But I need you right now - I need Azura right now. There's more to you than...a cousin, or a lover, I...I need Azura right now."

She couldn't dare contribute to his hurt, not now. She had to soothe him. She put her hand over his, pressing it to her heart.

"I'm here. You haven't lost me." She lowered her head, thinking of the lake. "I'm here because you are."

Corrin's eyes lidded, shining at the edges.

"Yours," Azura whispered, resting against him. "I'm yours."

He leaned back into her. She allowed it, thinking he needed the contact, but squeaked when he pushed her down to the bed.

"Corrin, please," Azura whispered, making no moves to stop him. "Not now..."

"We don't need to take this any further," he breathed. "This is enough for me."

It took a moment, but she relaxed and settled against the sheets. He cupped her face, keeping his claws and fingertips tucked against his hands so that he wouldn't scratch her. The air was warm with their silence, broken only by their breaths and their hearts beating.

She tucked her chin and turned away, unable to meet his gaze any longer. "You can stay here tonight," she murmured.

Slowly, he bent over to rest his lips against her head. "I'd like to," he said. "Are you ready to sleep?"

Azura had nothing else to do, so she nodded. Corrin gave her another kiss, this time on the cheek, and moved so he could spoon her. He pulled her closer to him, nosing around her hair. ...There was a lot to nose aside before he could settle against the back of her head.

Then he stilled, breaths long.

Azura tried everything she could think of to settle down, but everything in her body screamed for movement. She couldn't stand being hot when she tried to sleep, and staying in the same position for an extended period of time, in addition to being wrapped up in draconic limbs, was causing heat to gather in the sheets around her. And yet, breaking away from Corrin to roll around seemed inappropriate, considering everything they'd been through that night. She closed her eyes with more force, willing herself to bear it.

She ran through all the songs she could think of at the moment, working her throat silently. There was only so much of that she could do before she lost her patience, though. She lifted a fist and let it flop on the sheets in her frustration.

Corrin nuzzled the back of her head and she froze. "What's wrong?" he asked, voice slow and hushed.

"I can't sleep," Azura admitted. "I'm still alert."

She felt the spades on his tail snake over her legs. It made her shudder, and that was enough to get him to sit up. "Is there something you do when you can't sleep?"

"I read, sometimes," she said.

His ears curled as he tipped his head. "Do you keep books here?"

"Yes, there should be one on the desk," she said, sitting up. He stood, making his way to the desk slowly. She was afraid he would notice the plate of uneaten food and comment on it, but he seemed too tired to do so.

"Ah, yes, I see," he said. He made a motion for it, then froze. After a moment, he used one of his hands to push it into his other palm and carried it to her that way. "I'm sorry, Azura. I might have ruined it."

There was a gash on the cover that scraped against her fingers when she took it. "It's fine," she said. "It's an old book, anyway. It'll give it character." She turned to a dogeared page and put the book on her lap.

"Do you need more light...?"

"No, it's better this way," she said. He tipped his head at her.

"What is it about?" he asked.

"Murderous ghosts, mostly," she said blithely. His ears stretched out straight behind his head.

"I'm going to find you another book," he declared, rolling off the bed.

Azura blinked a few times before looking up. "Corrin?" He was feeling around her room, searching for another book in the dim light.

Corrin's tail twitched as he realized he couldn't find anything. He sighed, wings drooping. "It seems...unnecessary, to involve more of the dead in our lives?" he said. His ears were stiff and flat against his head. "...Not to mention unkind."

Her fingers fiddled with the covers of the book, one twitch away from closing it shut. After a moment, she folded her hands on top of the open page. "I've always found comfort in reading stories that are meant to be scary or gruesome. It helps me through what I see."

He turned, looking back at her. Then, sighing, he climbed back onto the bed. "Please don't spend too long reading that," he said. "I want you to sleep, Azura."

"I know," she said, spreading a sheet over his body. His tail curled around her as he settled down. She let her fingers tangle in his hair a bit before turning back to her reading.

...Or, she intended to read. She might had been alert, but her mind was exhausted, and she couldn't focus much on what was on the pages. Perhaps some grounding was in order...she began thumbing at a page corner, taking in each word as if it was a note to a song.

Probably not the best idea to think of stories about death to the tune of _Lost in Thoughts All Alone_. She sighed.

Her fingers were starting to feel strange from all the rubbing she was doing. She closed the book and laid her palms on the cover. All of her focus and presence lay in the pads of her fingertips, and it took her many minutes to realize she was clenching her jaw.

There was...no conceivable way she could see herself living after the war. She lifted heavy hands to the pendant at her neck, feeling the lines on it under her touch. She tried to swallow and found her throat too thick for it.

If she was about to die, what was she doing _here_? Right now? Why was she allowing herself to be uncomfortable and making things awkward with Corrin? Why did thoughts about not being able to love him make her so upset she couldn't even sleep?

Azura sighed. It seemed like it was just seconds ago that she had realized she was clenching her jaw, and now she had just noticed she was worrying at her lip with her teeth. She'd torn off some of the skin, and now it was bleeding. She held the cut in her mouth, grounding herself in the taste of her own blood. Corrin stirred beside her, murmuring drowsily. She froze, waiting for him to speak, but he seemed to be sleeping.

She would have to leave so many people behind. People she called brothers and sisters, people she could have grown to see as family, given more time and more peaceful circumstances. And, of course...the young man asleep next to her.

Corrin seemed peaceful, despite his wings and claws tangling in the sheets. Azura put the book aside so she could rest her head on her knees and watch him. If only she could sleep so soundly...

Watching him like this, with her mind blank due to exhaustion, made her mind twirl around idle thoughts. Perhaps she would die singing, and then become a ghost that would watch over him. She wouldn't be a killer ghost. The war would be over, and the royal families were strong. Maybe, if one of them needed protecting, she could muster up the strength to influence the world of the living...as long as she was daydreaming, she could imagine her ghostly spirit floating around Corrin's head as he walked, following him to pools of water. And then he would swim, and remember...

No, there was no time to make herself sad. She closed her eyes, shifting to make herself more comfortable.

She would watch over him as he...well, she wasn't sure what kingdom he would go to. But perhaps he would become a lord of some sort of territory, and while she would not be able to advise him, she would be able to dispose of assassins with spectral fury. And, with time, he'd marry someone who could make him happy. They might not even look anything like her.

Her thought-ghost self lingered on the image of Corrin with his spouse, an imaginary person that didn't resemble her. She saw him happy, and her heart went cold.

Azura sighed. She'd be forgotten. That was inevitable. Her thoughts petered out into nothing.


End file.
